Kenneth Collins Maple's picture
Kenneth Collins Maple

She squirmed in my arms and caught my gaze with her deep blue eyes, demonstrating a crooked smile and emitting a satisfied sigh. Then she pooped on me.

Parenthood is great.

Editor Billy Cannada broke last week’s nearly live, local news when he announced From the Maple Tree that I had a baby. As with breaking news, sometimes the facts can become misconstrued in the desire to be the first to deliver the information. In this case, I would like to offer only a skosh of a correction: I did not have a baby. My wife did. Thankfully.

All jesting aside we did indeed welcome Hazel Collins Maple into the world on Monday, April 11, at 8:18 p.m. She’s 6 pounds and 8 ounces of joy and has already been voted most beautiful baby in the whole wide world. Voting was conducted between her parents.

The moments of birth were surreal, but I don’t need to tell you that. You’ve either had a child or been born. Perhaps both.

I would have placed in excess of $7 on me fainting during those moments when Hazel was entering the world (which is why I’m glad Britni had the baby), but I didn’t. On the contrary, I found myself fascinated, glad to be conscious so I could hold my wife’s hand and pray through the delivery. By this point I should mention that both mother and child are healthy, and Hazel is really a blessing from above for the two of us. And as I looked on my daughter that first time, suddenly quite aware of her ultimate dependence on her parents, I couldn’t help but recognize the beautiful and humble nature of Jesus’ birth, that he, too, the savior of the world entered this very world as a baby and was called Immanuel or “God with us.” Britni and I are praying for his strength and guidance in raising our daughter. She’s over a week old now, and each day I want nothing more than to hold her in my arms and thank God for her. Even when she poops on me.

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